“Write drunk; edit sober.”
— Ernest Hemingway.
I am pro-choice. Show me your big blow-up poster of a dead fetus and I’ll show you an equally-sized one of a child that died due to starvation. Of course, in such a case we could both be accused of trying to circumvent an intellectual and ethical debate by trying to stimulate a purely emotional-based reaction, but my position has logic behind it and takes it all from the position of the big picture and longer time-line.
To the point, however: if you don’t want the child, don’t have it. You’ve got an uncertain number of months to decide. If you do decide to have it, however, you are as a consequence not as free as you used to be. As a friend of mine put it, “It isn’t about you anymore.” Who you are and what you do reflects on the child.
Deciding to have a child, this should be the most serious moment of your life.
Its your responsibility to get your shit together. To work on yourself. To get a good job. Its your responsibility to provide adequate sustenance, acceptable shelter, and positive influence on the child; its unacceptable to be a deadbeat dipshit sputtering to and fro between dead-end jobs and unemployment, living with the equally irresponsible in conditions not fit for a lobotomized sewer rat and leaving it up to, say, your brother’s family to care for your kid.
I can’t be kind about this: you’re a waste. You should be castrated before your insipid little soul can continue succumbing to its meat so as to allow it to spread your meat’s unfortunately-fertile seed far and wide into whatever female you can successfully manipulate into yawning her knees for your greedy little worm and its purely selfish little pleasures.
And you constantly confuse your carnal desires for your cardiac drive; every girl who conjures up an erection spawns a sense of romance in you, and its pathetic. Sex is not love. Sex can be a ritual (among many) through which one can express their profound value in another, but it can also just be a biological need that two people utilize each other in order to satisfy. Its people like you that have raped the word love; whatever it might have originally meant is long since lost in the elaborate web-work of bullshit associations those like yourself have mindlessly pummeled it with.
It is not the person that you desire but the feeling of desire itself which you crave, and you’re too fucking stupid to discern between the two. Your heart’s compass is your penis, and your penis is lost in the Bermuda Triangle: understand? Its spinning The-Exorcist-style. The needle of that compass pierces the skin of whatever female allows herself, in either her innocence or stupidity, to get close enough to you and let you wriggle your way on in.
Out of respect for humanity, sterilize yourself promptly.
Then work out your issues. Then be a father to your children. Don’t look for a mate. A child only needs someone who cares for them, not a pair. A pair who cares for them would perhaps be better, but a pair who lives with each other and hates each other but lives with each other because both care for the child is more harmful to the child than a pair that lives separately and cares for the child consecutively. And you’re an idiot at finding mates. So remain single and work on yourself and be a father.
And stop praying to whatever god or higher power you think will listen. Get off your ass and do something. What, is big pie-in-the-sky Daddy supposed to clean up your mess for you? Grow up and get your own shit together. Save yourself. You’ve got a brain and a spine: wouldn’t it be a shame putting both to waste? They should both be working in cooperation, you dolt. I’ve got a brain, but my spine’s weak. I’ve been working on building up its strength. The difference between you and I is that I have at least some reasonable degree of self awareness, and you’re jerking off your ego in the dark screaming out your guilt-free, pity-me donkey shit. I owe my parents a hundred dollars, my roommate at least half a thousand and the college and untold amount and I work at McDonald’s. And you know what? I’m a loser. And I know that. Bigger-picture I blame the game; small-picture, I can only blame myself. And I feel the guilt that comes with debt. I hate it more than I hate anything, and if you know anything about me, I’m am busting at the dark little seams with hate.
But I’m aware. And I feel the guilt. But you seem nothing short of dumb and blind and oh-so-damned entitled as you ask for handouts, as you beg your god for mercy. Save yourself. You’re on your own. Its up to you. And its not just your life that you’re screwing up here, remember, but that of your child.
You want a crash course in the universe from my itty-bitty eye view? Here is goes:
There is no God or Devil. We are all co-creators in an ever-evolving universe. And we live in an impersonal universe. We don’t live in what I call “The X-Box.”
The “X,” of course, stands for Xianity, or Christianity as it is commonly called, and the box refers to the religion’s boxed-in view of the universe. With Heaven above you and Hell below. With Creation behind you and the Apocalypse up ahead of you. With the Absolute Good, personified by your god with his legion of angels, to the right of you, and Absolute Evil, personified by Lucifer or Satan or the Devil or the Serpent with his legion of demons, to your left.
No, we live in an impersonal universe. There is no Absolute Good and Evil inherent in the objective universe, only a subjective and situational value judgement of right and wrong that is only found — nay, manufactured by ourselves — within the context of circumstance. There is no one to weigh those hypothetical cosmic scales you imagine. There isn’t even any karma — retributive karma, in the very least. No, we draw the lines, we make the rules, we “measure these things by our eyes” (or minds, more accurately).
Since there is no one but us measly life forms to judge, there is no one to ask for mercy, there is no one to look down on us in pity and give us a break. You hear that? You aren’t earning anything by being Good and avoiding or confessing Evil and “being forgiven.” Looks like you’ll have to clean up your own mess, jackass.
There is no god to get on the good side of or devil to dodge; no Heaven to earn or Hell to avoid. Merely the logical (and that includes empathic and ethical, contrary to what sadly seems to be popular belief) consequences of your actions. So there is no transcendent prize or punishment at the end of the road. If your eyes are truly open — not blinded by the light of theological fiction, that is — you have no ulterior motive for aligning your actions with Good or Evil. You only have empathy, common sense, personal freedom and the potential consequences of that personal freedom as viewed from large-scale and long-timeline. No cosmic equivalent of a parental figure to reward, punish or save you. No reward in trying harder, just smarter.
So sorry, the laws of the universe will not spare you because you’re a whiny bitch. Its up to you. Grow up, wake up, strengthen your spine and take on responsibility. You’re a father. A parent. Its not about you anymore. Shape up because its your fucking responsibility to.