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My first two flashbacks came to me within the same night, which happened either in late 1994 or early the following year. Aside from the fact that the two separate flashbacks that evening involved childhood encounters with aliens, there was the ancestral theme that bound them together. That frowning creature in the first flashback said that he was the doctor and that they were scientists.  He said he was very old, very wise, and that in some way he is a grandfather to me. This seems to correspond to the second flashback I had that night that dealt with a Gray or Mantis creature that informed me that he was my “real daddy,” and so it was all right for him to take me away.
For some time I considered all this to be nothing more than additional evidence that the little bastards were committed to fucking with my head. After all, for better and worse, I would have to say I am clearly my parents’ son. I see some of both in me. 
My father only seems to be involved in this peripherally. There are no suggestion he sees them. Yet there is, of course, his alcoholic mother, who believed she was seeing aliens and flying saucers out her window. The child-loathing woman, swearing up and down she was partially of Native American decent despite total lack of evidence that any of it is true, would go on and tell her coworkers about the saucers, as my father was ill to discover. To build on his embarrassment and frustration, they actually believed her. 

When she died, my parents found her place a mess. All the cabinet doors open, as she believed for some reason this would rid her of the cockroaches of which she had, evidently, such a deep phobia.

On my father’s side there was also the sister of my rather ominous grandfather — an amazing woman with delicate features, a soothing voice and the most vibrant blue eyes. So calm and collected, you could never imagine her yell or get angry. In my youth, she seemed mystical, and that never went away for as long as she lived. She felt like a furnace of energy. 

It was not until after she had died and we went to visit her husband that I would ask him about the UFO encounter they both had. He had been driving with her when he saw the saucer and began to pull over. He planned on joining the small crowd on the side of the road, watching as a saucer with a rim of multicolored lights encircled a telephone pole. He was fascinated and wanted to watch it. They were being seen all over the country at the time, he told me, but this was the first and only time he had ever seen one. She hid inside the car, though, terrified, frantically begging for him to drive them away, and he swiftly submitted to doing so.

My great aunt was not insane, nor my great uncle; here I feel confident. Nothing seems to point to my father as anything but a carrier for his maternal inheritance, but for the record he is sane as well. Only his heavily strange mother suggests probable insanity; that she was perhaps as highly-functioning a schizophrenic as she was an alcoholic. There is the possibility, of course, that there were flying saucers out her window — that she was strange and an alcoholic, yes, but also truly had encounters. 

Then there is my mother. I know my mother and I have similar neurology, as we share similar “migraine aura” attacks. She had her telepathy with grandma, I’ve had my share of seemingly telepathic experiences. Though my mother has never spoken about seeing aliens, she has certainly had a wide range of strange experiences, including UFO sightings and an enduring telepathic communication with her own mother when they once shared a vacation together. 

One experience she has told me about may be even more suggestive. Sometimes at night she would sit up in the darkness and see faces rush at her from the distance, disappearing just as they were to her forehead or nose. When I had asked her what the faces looked like, she told me that they looked a lot like some of the pastel drawings I had made of rather demented faces inspired by the Doctor creature. 

Still, what are the odds of inheriting it directly through my mother from my maternal grandmother as well as indirectly through my father via both his maternal and paternal lines? Three threads finding convergence in me. Maybe these threads are twisted in me; an unfortunate genetic knot of multifaceted madness. Perhaps inheriting my mother’s migraine neurology and inheriting, through my father acting as a carrier, my paternal grandmother’s functional alcoholic and potentially-schizophrenic neurology is sufficient enough an explanation, no aliens included. Enough potential neurological malfunctions in the genetic lottery, you’re bound to inherit some neurological glitches. Through this cocktail, my seeing aliens and having astral projections, telepathic experiences, encounters with the discarnate and past life memories of being human at least twice before, though before that presumably an alien — all of it could make sense. The odds are in your favor to develop a psychosis that has found effective expression through the medium of culturally-mediated symbols. 

As humble as it might be if I were at this point to succumb to the label of the harmless but nonetheless psychotic, I am hopelessly drawn to more pessimistic conclusions. For when I later made the connection between the faces my mother saw, their similarity to the Doctor and what the Doctor said to me in the first flashback, I couldn’t help but wonder if what they claim could in any way be literally true.

In any case, the creature’s allegation in the first flashback that he was The Doctor and they were scientists might provoke in one to wonder just what kind of science they practiced. 
This was suggested in two later flashbacks. Aside from the two flashbacks previously described, there was another evening in which I again had two such flashbacks. This happened on April 4, 1995 and they were again conjured by means of the lava lamp, only this time it was intentional. With these flashbacks, too, there seems to be a theme: genetic tampering. 
The two creatures in the second flashback looked like clones of the Doctor, for one thing, only ones seemingly shorter in stature. The creature I saw in the first flashback of the evening, however, suggests to me genetic engineering. It had the morphology of the typical Gray but it had brown, wrinkled reptilian skin and vertically-slit pupils — and a frown. The skin looked similar to the Doctor, but his eyes (and those of his “clones”) had the traditional whites, round iris and pupil. Eyes can go from round to slit given light variations, could this provide explanation? In any case, I have never come across any material aside from my own that describe the Doctor in appearance specifically, but “reptilian” would perhaps best fit his description.
If they are mixing genes with other species, this might indicate what was meant by the ancestral allegations in the first two flashbacks. 

How could they not be lying? That was all I said to myself about it all for a long time. Even granting the theory of panspermia, and so perhaps the notion that all life might be related, it is so unlikely as to be impossible that interplanetary-scale interspecies reproduction could produce a viable hybrid embryo. 

In time, however, it came to my attention that there was a way of breaching the barriers between distant species. The operative word would be transgenesis, the technological means of lateral gene transfer. This is the form of genetic engineering that allows genes from one species to be inserted and incorporated into the genome of another. The genes that are transferred from one organism to another are transgenes, and the organism that incorporates these transgenes into their genome is a transgenic organism. This would be the only conceivable means by which they could cross the species.

How would they do it? They would perhaps abduct a recently-impregnated woman, extract the fertilized egg and alter the male pronucleus by introducing transgenes from an alien donor. If the transgenic process was successful, the resulting child, call her Jane, would be a transgenic human being bearing characteristics of all three of her parents: her human mother, her human father, and the alien donor. 

Depending on the sex of the alien donor, it would either constitute a second mother or a second father for Jane. Let’s say the transgenic parent of Jane was a second father.

Jane grows up and they monitor her remotely as she develops over the years, occasionally abducting her for an on-board “check-up” inside and out. Physically, they examine her body, insert or extract implants for remote monitoring. Telepathically, they run their psychological examinations and tests by throwing her into subjective, life-like “dream” scenarios to study emotional reactions, play back and examine certain memories as they “skim” the associations. 

Jane grows, Jane meets Jack, they get married and she gets pregnant. Remote monitors transmit this data and so they promptly abduct Jane, their pregnant transgenic human, and screen the embryo. They find that they have a stable, germ-line transformation: the embryo inherited the mother’s transgenes. 

Then they build upon their success by manipulating Jane’s embryo even further, altering it with additional transgenes from another male alien donor. That embryo develops into a child, John — just another transgenic human being, another abductee.

As a male, John’s alien donor would constitute a second father. His mother’s transgenic donor, from whom John also inherited transgenes, would be John’s second maternal grandfather.

Jane could be my mother, and the frowning Doctor creature her transgenic donor and second father. I could be John, the Goblin Man my own transgenic donor and second father. The Doctor would, by extension, be my grandfather in a way, just as he claimed when I was five years old. 

The notion sounds insane, of course, and I have salvaged some self-respect in being aware of that fact, even while I so incongruently find myself investing in the idea as a “probability (assuming my sanity)” just to have a context for all these perpetually surreal episodes in my life. 

Or maybe I’m some living brain floating in a wire-fed jar and someone slipped a highly psychedelic substance in with my liquid nutrients. 

Finally: an all-inclusive explanation.


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