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Two of Me (Dream 1/23/14).

Short on money, which is a grossly misleading way of saying that my bank account is as far into the negatives as the winter weather has been as of late, I decided to do some seasonally-inappropriate spring cleaning with respect to my rather massive book collection. That way, I could exchange them for cash at the nearby bookstore downtown the following morning. It also served to keep me occupied as I have not smoked weed in two or three days.

In the midst of cleaning, I found a pill that had apparently fallen behind some books. Examining it, I determined it to be Melatonin, from my old bottle, with milligrams far beyond the 3 milligrams sufficient for sleeping. I took it, hoping to sleep. I then got an app in my iPhone for astral projection: it plays soothing sounds (I chose waves crashing on the beach) with a binaural beat played over it. I put on headphones, lay supine on my bed, closed my eyes and proceeded to focus on my breathing, occasionally shifting to fixing my attention on my third eye. Before the 45 minute setting I put on the program was up, I turned it off, took off the headphones and drifted into sleep.

The dream came back in pieces the following morning. At first, all I recalled was driving around a camper (which I vaguely recall being the circumstance in another dream some time ago) with a few passengers. At some point, I remember bonding with a small child and falling asleep beside him while holding him and snuggling.

I also remembered that my team from the camper and I had entered a large and complex building (like a massive mall) in order to do something covert and got separated. I was alone and they were together. I approached the exit doors while pushing a grocery cart and some short guy with a mustache (like Mario) opened the doors for me. As I strolled out into the parking lot towards what looked like my real car, not this imaginary camper, I caught sight of the rest of my team coming out a different set of exit doors in the distance.

I believe that was the final scene, but a lot of the dream was missing. My car perhaps signified my body, my walking towards it signifying “wake up” time.

Thinking of the child symbol in the dream, I wrote a status on Facebook referencing my feeling that sometimes I felt as if there were two of me (the other being an inner child) and that we did not always see eye to eye. I then began to wish I could remember more as I sipped my coffee and smoked a few cigarettes as I checked out Facebook posts before leaving for my third shift. Scrolling, scrolling down, I caught sight of a photo of a guy who had friended me because our first and last names were the same. It was a picture of him beside a kid shorter than him. The caption read that it was his “younger” brother. That’s when I remembered another part of the dream.

“There was two of me,” I remember saying aloud. He was like a twin, though I noted aloud that despite our similarities I was taller than him. An interesting and strange correlation to serve as a trigger, it seems to me.

Then, in the car, the first song on my iPhone’s playlist was Mudvayne’s song, Shadow of a Man, from their album, The End of All Things to Come. Also an interesting correlation, considering the meaning behind the song.

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