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Embers and Ashes.

So I dance
in an intoxicated frenzy
around the reckless fire,

licking, lashing
the atmosphere

in cosmic, beautifully twisted,
sadomasochistic love,
smoke dripping,

ascending
from this nest
of vibrant, considerately
homicidal tongues.

Chant
my incantations, spirits
rising with the smoke,
fixated on the inner eye.

Believing in and out again,
the inner spark’s thrusting,
till I achieve a space
beyond faith and doubt,

till I graduate
to enlightened reason.

A slow burn
leaving behind far
more than embers
and ashes,

as this creaking
wheel of death
and rebirth continues to turn
with dizzying speed, as if part
of a vehicle driven
by me, approaching
someone, something…

Standing outside the story,
I stick my head in, try to make sense,
conjure meaning out of all this.

How did I get here?
Why did I come here?
Answers hide far deeper
than any blade can burrow.

Let me try
your voice, your eyes
as an avenue.

You fucking entice me.
This, this enlivens me.

Can I find the truth, adapt,
rest easy, yet still find myself,
find purpose, meaning,
lay claim to sanity?

There must be a pathway,
for these taunting
puzzle pieces
have come
to surround me, as if
inviting me to a celebration
without providing
the directions.

Go on, show me the way.
I feel I am finally prepared
for another
potentially futile journey.

Burn, burn away
my doubt and frustration.
Release me from this endless,
fucking confusion.

Let the fire
rise to the sky,
let the smoke
strive onward,
upward, towards space.

Let me feel alive again,
me again,
recollected, realized,
whole,

ready to fight
again, for the truth
in a building war
against those with an eye
to stifle it,

to become one
with the death and rebirth,
the eye
that unknowingly
strives for it.

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