Goblins of the Threshold.

I. Samhain.

Closing my eyes, letting go, my mind drifts, blossoming spontaneous motion pictures, as is usually the case before I slide into a dream. Relaxed and numb, I am certain I will fall asleep for the few hours I have until I have to start waking up for work, but suddenly, in the silent movie in my mind, one of them pop up. Short, slender, large head and black, slanted, almond-shaped eyes. I come out of it, then drift back into another motion picture, but again they emerge, uninvited.

Curse my unconscious.

Getting up out of bed, I pour myself a mug of coffee. Sit in front of the computer. And then I just stare off into space. Stare into the void where answers should be.

II. Just Another Paranoid Afternoon Morning.

It is the eleventh; the day before my birthday. Something feels “off” from the moment I open my eyes. Suddenly I just wake up, as if out of a trance at the snap of fingers, and look at the clock, which reads around one in the afternoon. Apparently I had gotten up, turned off my two alarms and fell back asleep without realizing it, which happens a bit too often. Either in my hand or just near it on the bed is my cell phone, which immediately struck me as odd, as I always keep it in the chair next to the head of my bed and would have no reason to have it in my hands anyway, as I hadn’t set the alarm on my cell last night. Strangest of all, I was positioned on my bed wrong; my feet were towards the head of the bed, my head at the foot. I sure as hell hadn’t fallen asleep that way. Granted, I must have gotten up to turn off the alarm, which I’ve done countless times without realizing it, but I’ve never settled back down in bed in the opposite direction. And that still didn’t explain my fucking phone.

Later, I would become disturbed by the possibility that I might have been sleep-walking, or more specifically sleep-talking — that I had either answered the phone in my sleep or called someone and had some conversation I didn’t remember. Checking my cell later on, I saw no number called or received during the time I was out. I’d had a few beers the night before, but I certainly wasn’t drunk when I fell asleep. So I just got up, made some coffee, checked the net, took a shower. Tried not to think about it, tried not to reinforce my own stupid paranoia.

And failed fucking miserably.

III. Faces Out From the Haze.

Saturday night, more like Sunday morning. No sleep aide tonight. No pill, no bottle. Back to the mattress, lain straight, I close my eyes, focusing on deep breathing, imagining a cocoon around me, and then relaxing myself from toes to the top of my head, going deeper, deeper. Just breathe. Just relax. Again I see them in my mind’s eye. Involuntarily rising up from the mental haze, this time it is just their faces staring down at me, real close up to my face. Eyes raping my eyes. Breathing deeply, relaxing further, I try to find focus on Ajna, the third eye region, but even with that calm concentration where I feel entirely compact and focused, I see one of them looking down at me, face so close its almost touching mine. Even my mind is against me. Rolling over, face to the wall, clutching the wadded-up blanket like a child, I tell myself just to go to sleep. To forget them. Just sleep without dumbing yourself down tonight. Ignore the sounds, its just the neighbors, the people upstairs, the cars outside, the plumbing, the computer. No one is there. No one is there. Fucking go to sleep.

IV. Supine.

I wake up on my back, my body positioned straight, legs together, both my hands placed on my chest, and paralyzed. I am unable to move anything but my eyes. Unless I am meditating, this is a weird position for me to be sleeping in, and even when I do meditate and eventually fall to sleep I roll over on my side or my stomach shortly thereafter. As I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling, an afterimage of a straight line blinking in my field of vision for a few moments for some odd reason, I immediately recognize how peculiar all this is, and though perplexed, I am unafraid. I move my eyes, which is the only part of me I seem capable of moving, towards the clock, but I cannot remember what time it was that I saw. Nor can I recall my dreams, though I feel certain I had more than one. I remember thinking it was a shame I had not kept my webcam recording me sleeping as I had several nights prior. I then close my eyes again and drift off to sleep.

V. They Are My Waldo.

If you ever watch South Park you may have noticed that in many episodes that have stretched out across the seasons cameos have been made by “The Vistors,” as the writers call them, or, as they are more popularly known, the Gray aliens. Its like Where’s Waldo? only in this case Waldo is short, skinny, with a huge head like an overturned egg upon which rests two big, black, slanted and almond-shaped eyes. And even if you don’t look for Waldo, he pops up out of nowhere, haunting you. Sometimes these cameos are blatant, but more often you’ll find them hiding in the crowds or in the scenery.

Well, for the past few months this is precisely what my head has been like when I’m lying down trying to go to sleep. As is always the case, pictures emerge out of the haze of my mind as I am on the bridge of sleeping and waking; sometimes these images are in color, sometimes they manifest in this crisp, vivid, opaque kind of quality, as if I’m viewing it all through a pair of dark sunglasses. Often its scenery, sometimes people; sometimes freeze-frames, sometimes there’s movement. So I’ll be letting my mind go and drifting calmly off to sleep when out of nowhere one of the Grays will appear, walking around, and they will look dead at me like some character on television that suddenly looks back at you from within the screen and you get the startling sense that the character is real and can actually see you. As can be expected, this freaks me out and I bolt awake, physically bolting upward, only to try and fall asleep again, often to only have it happen again.

To be entirely honest, I prefer this to what was occurring maybe a month or two ago, when I could not lay my head down into the pillow sober without seeing, within my mind, images of a group of Grays looking down on me from real, real close-up. I always sleep on my side or with my face down in the pillow, rarely on my back, so the fact that I always saw them looking down on me from a supine position shocked me even more; despite the fact that these were before-dream images, it felt as if I was actually there, real-time, on my back, despite the fact that I most certainly was not (or at least at the time, I can say with confidence). I really would have hoped that after all these years the sight of their faces would not haunt me so; that they would not be so very entrancing and yet simultaneously frightening.

To some things, it seems one can never become desensitized.


Alien Induction,

or, Paranoid Nightmare 
of a Textbook Mental Case.
Their behavior does not match what we would expect from an alien force coming here from some extrasolar sphere, the allegedly skeptical cry, as in the same breath they condemn the anthropomorphic forces “clearly” shaping the hallucinatory alien abduction and UFO experiences.
The UFOs and their occupants do exhibit strange behavior, of course. Rather than establish overt contact or conceal themselves from us entirely, UFOs trapeze the line between, weaving in and out of the collective consciousness in waves of activity punctuated by troughs of eerie silence. 
When an intense wave occurs over a small area, it is known as a UFO flap. When the intense wave is enduring in that locale, the area becomes known as a “UFO hot spot.” In any case, these waves are seemingly unpredictable in terms of the location and size of the area they deluge as well as the intensity and duration of the wave itself. 
The notion that we are merely catching them off guard during UFO sightings and consciously-recalled encounters strikes me naive. Clearly, UFOs could conceal their existence from us entirely if they so desired. They can maneuver through air, water, ice and earth. During both day and night they have been observed to duck behind clouds. At night, they will remain lit and motionless in the sky, easily mistaken for stars, or they may mimic meteors. They mimic the sounds of helicopters, airplane engines and other conventional craft and have also been observed to mimic aviation lights. 
They are also on many occasions effectively invisible at night with their lights off. Rather than take advantage of this, however, they turn them on. Witnesses also report that these lights do not glare, either, which would render them useless as navigation lights. 
Reports reveal that in some cases they are witnessed by many with the naked eye, from land and air, all as they are picked up on radar as well. Other reports reveal that they can be seen by the naked eye, but not by radar; by radar, but not by the naked eye; by one person, but not another. On top of all of this, witnesses have also described how the craft can render themselves entirely invisible. 
Considering these concealment and camouflage capabilities of the craft, then, the fact that we see them at all, let alone in intense waves, should arouse our suspicion. It would seem that they can control when, where, how and by whom they are seen — and what witnesses see them as. 
While they have been observed to utilize these camouflage and concealment capabilities — another fact that should arouse suspicion — the degree to which they have not utilized them and are consequently seen by witnesses far exceed that which would be expected if such instances were merely a consequence of Murphy’s Law. Nor does it appear to be the case that they are what Michio Kaku calls a Type III civilization, which we would only find evidence of because they have no interest in us and do not care if they are seen. 
Instead, there are numerous indications that UFOs and aliens are imposing a sort of “controlled revelation” upon humankind regarding their presence. So at some level this appears to be a program of acclimatization, systematic desensitization of a planetary culture to the notion of extraterrestrial life, implying that they are working towards a future time in which there will be overt contact. 
This means, presumably, that they are not here to destroy us. That can provide some comfort, at least. 
Ultimately, however, all it really means is that we are involved in their future plans, as they are investing time and energy in easing the human species into an epic revelation. It does not alone suggest what role we are to play once overt contact is made. 
Examining individual encounters reveals something unnerving, however: the UFO itself appears to constitute a conglomeration of hypnotic induction techniques at once. 
First, the UFO constitutes the “fixation method” of hypnotic induction — rather than focusing on a finger or a swinging watch, one watches the UFO hover or preform areal acrobatics. At the same time, the presence of the UFO also acts as Erickson’s method of induction, known as the “confusion technique.” Here, an absurd element serves to inspire deeper, more absorptive focus on the object of confusion in the attempts to reconcile the apparent contradiction. In tandem with this the object may have many lights organized into different positions on the craft, each bearing a color or pattern of colors, some flashing, perhaps at varying speeds or intensities. This is a form of photic driving — another means of inducing an altered state of consciousness. The low hum is also sometimes reported by witnesses, which may be an effect of auditory driving.
When the brain is subjected to a patterned stimulus of any kind, specifically light and sound, it’s brainwaves tend to synchronize with the pattern through what is called a “frequency-following response.” 
Given the conglomeration of induction methods even the relatively brief UFO sighting potentially constitutes, it would seem the witness was targeted and induced so as to be given suggestions of one form or another. If this is the case, they may have as many means of necessarily covert suggestion as they appear to have regarding forms of hypnotic induction. 
In individual cases of UFO encounters, the witness sometimes admits the suspicion that whatever is driving the craft can read or influence their mind. In military aircraft encounters, for instance, the UFO has sometimes disengaged weapons systems when the military pilot was deciding to fire upon it. 
The object has often kept steady and fixed distance from a military aircraft — even during sharp turns. In a similar way, UFOs have kept pace with witnesses in cars or commercial planes. 
It has been shown that they adjust their own behavior in accordance with this telepathic feedback — a telepathic capacity that could only be made all the more potent with the application of the aforementioned hypnotic induction techniques. 
By means of this they can “steer” the witness away from an undesirable response to their presence and towards a more desirable one. Fearful reactions from witnesses often inspire the craft to back away; yearning to see it up close may inspire the craft to immediately move closer. 
There are also occasions when witnesses feel compelled by some inner prompting to look to a particular location in the sky or drive to some location — in either case, they ultimately witness a UFO and may even be subjected to a far more closer encounter. 
People often also fail to use cameras that are right beside them, wondering afterward how they could have forgotten. That this telepathy could also be used to induce more elaborate hypnotic suggestions is not hard to conceive. 
This, clearly, would stretch the implications of the UFO phenomenon beyond mere cumulative, systematic acclimation. Individual encounters could be staged for specific witnesses, where their responses are then telepathically anticipated and manipulated, their consciousnesses altered to a highly suggestible state and they are subliminally issued telepathic suggestions. 
When we move beyond close encounters of the first and second kind (CEI and CEII respectively) and into occupant cases (CEIII) and abductions, the means of transmitting suggestions is more obvious. The alien encounters comprising these last two categories may be akin to when we are reading a book or watching a film and the world around us becomes an evermore blurry peripheral and consciousness is held captive by the “suggestions” provided. 
In this absorptive reading or watching, the suggestions are the fascination — the contents of the book or movie inspired fascination because some part of you can relate or empathize with the narrative. This may be due to a personal resonance with the material or perhaps even more generalized instinctual, archetypal, or cross-cultural patterns to which humans relate and resonate as a whole.
In any case, the implicit structure (“the Monomyth” of Campbell, for instance) is utilized for the more effective transmission of the explicit suggestion or message, which is woven into that structure at various levels of abstraction ranging from the literal to the metaphorical. 
Guided hypnosis and meditation differ from absorptive reading or observation only in that the hypnotist induces the state of absorptive focus first and then proceeds to transmit suggestions verbally. 
Meditation only seems to differ from ritual (which itself seems synonymous with “self-hypnosis”) in that ritual utilizes external props and set behaviors for the transmission of suggestions; meditation, in its most basic and simplistic form, places all discipline on consciousness without external anchors providing associations, but in other cases it inches closer to ritual. In meditation, suggestions are delivered through willed absorptive focus on mantras, yantras, as well as ritual behaviors and props. 
With respect to the UFO: do the color patterns and their frequencies, the patterns of movement in the sky as we watch them, not only induce an altered and suggestible state but deliver covert suggestions as well? Do some alien encounters take this to the next level, as suggested by Jacques Vallee, containing a “metalogic” that appears absurd (so again, confusion enhancing fixation) to consciousness but nonetheless bears an internal logic that communicates messages subliminally, unconsciously? 
As to the last question, Vallee offers some specific and rather unnerving data gleaned from his interviews with “contactees.” He identifies four recurring themes in their values and beliefs.
First, he identifies their tendency towards what he calls Intellectual Abdication, which seems to communicate that the aliens are needed to save humanity from itself, and we are therefore dependent upon them for species survival. They also harbor a Racist Philosophy in their belief that some of those on earth that appear to be human are in fact partially of extraterrestrial ancestry and are superior to the average human. 
They also invest in the notion of humanity’s Technical Impotence, meaning that we could not have gotten this far in our development as a species without the repeated intervention of extraterrestrials throughout the course of our history. (Think of Erich Von Daniken, William Bramley, Zechariah Sitchin, and the television show Ancient Aliens.) Last but not least, Vallee speaks of their joint notions of a Social Utopia, usually involving a world economy and totalitarian social order.
Studying these for themes, we find that Technical Impotence supports Intellectual Abdication: the aliens have always been here, meddling in our affairs covertly to push us along in the right directions genetically and culturally, and so any overt contact would just be a continuation in the light of our awareness of what has always gone on in the shadows of human history. The Racist Philosophy highlights the underlying message of both Intellectual Abdication and Technical Impotence: we are but ignorant children in need of our alien gods, who have half-breeds among us for the betterment of our species.
With all our greatest accomplishments given to us by the alien gods, the clear message behind the coexisting theme of social utopia is the anticipation of the day when the alien gods to establish overt contact and impose a new social order — with the aliens, of course, at the top, with their population of half-breeds, it would seem to follow, acting as intermediaries between the aliens and humankind, helping to facilitate the transition from the old human cultures to the new alien social order. 
Despite their differences is interpretation, the material provided by David Jacobs in his 1999 book The Threat seems to resonate closely with the picture just illustrated. Abductees are led to believe they are being used to create half-breeds, and many are also led to believe they are half-breeds themselves. The end-goal is to create a (transgenic) mix, a new species that comprises “the best of both” the human and alien. In their eyes this appears to mean a creature with a human physiology and an alien neurology. 
As gleaned from the material provided by Hopkins, Jacobs, Mack and others, the “hybrids” seen by abductees on the craft would have to constitute transgenic aliens — specifically, aliens altered with human transgenes. Some of the transgenic aliens are very Gray-looking, others have a mixture of human and Gray physical characteristics, and others look almost entirely human. The consistent variable among them all is alien neurology, evident in them despite the way the introduction of human emotion and instinct have had an effect on that neurology. 
Abductees themselves would seem to constitute transgenic humans — human beings altered with alien transgenes. Some have neurological characteristics that are very human, others appear to be a mixture of the human and alien, and others seem almost entirely alien despite, again, the influence of human instinct and emotion. Across the board, however, they maintain their human physiology. 
Those of mixed alien and human neurology — all abductees or “transgenic humans,” then, save for those on the extreme end of the spectrum — may then be subject to a corresponding duality in their consciousness. This is touched upon by Hopkins and Jacobs in their talks on the “alien co-option” of abductees, but more deeply explored by John Mack in his 1994 book, Abduction. There he writes of a duality in consciousness that manifested in abductees he has worked with, who feel they have both an alien and human personality. On page 35, Mack adds:
“The alien identity seems to be connected in some way with the soul of the human self, and one of the tasks the abductee then confronts is the integration of their human and alien selves, which takes on the character of a reensoulment of their humanity.”
In addition, Jacobs brought together an image of the endgame theme that has grown throughout the study of abductions which sounds too much like the future that can be procured from analysis of Vallee’s four contactee themes. After a coming period of global catastrophe (the exact nature of which is ever-elusive, though for certain the cause will not, in the least, be obviously of their own doing) the aliens will present themselves as humanity’s saviors and usher in a new era marked by an alien-dominant social order on earth, with transgenic humans, transgenic aliens and their kin — the new species — serving the roles of intermediaries. 
According to Jacobs, abductees have been subjected to “training” and “testing” procedures that suggest they are being prepped for four future roles. This includes “Calming” people, “Helping” the aliens in the abduction procedures preformed on other abductees, “Rescuing” aliens, transgenic beings and humans and “Facilitating” the Change in some way that will assist people in adapting to the new culture.
Given this, perhaps one of the reasons for the duality in abductee psyches is that in first integrating their human and alien personalities, they will then be better able to serve their ultimate function in service of the aliens: to integrate humankind into the new social order, to smooth the transition to the technologically-advanced, psi-adept, extraterrestrial and insectival totalitarian social order. Which is a lot of responsibility for a head-case of my caliber.